I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
