Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
