i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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