yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
