I cockslap morals
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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