super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
