What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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