im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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