I wish i was in the wii world.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize