I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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