You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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