i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize