I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
