No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
