Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
