The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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