Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
