Duck Duck Cougar?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
