My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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