my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
