And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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