dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize