Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
