Dual....:-)
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
