I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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