'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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