and you said cock pushups were impossible
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
