and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
