Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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