she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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