Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
