I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
