I bet he comes in French.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
