I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
