Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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