And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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