He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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