Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
