either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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