Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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