So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
