ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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