I cockslap morals
Can Purell be used as lube?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
