i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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