should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
