after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
