And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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