when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
