some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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