oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
