Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
