He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize