He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
