Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize