woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
