at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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