I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
