I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
