Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize