so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize