You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
