My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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