I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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