I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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