This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
