It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
