i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
