He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
