so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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