Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
