I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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