She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
