That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
