It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
