dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
