I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
