you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
