I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
